Happy New Year!!

being

weary from being pushed and pulled into VARIOUS directions. hindi ko na alam saan lulugar. tired of living up to expectations that I myself do not even wish to attain ;/ tired of smiling when I really didn't want to.

wtf

have you ever wish something in your life never happened at all? something too painful that even breathing doesn't do anything good to make it any better? did you ever wish for things to be different than the way they are now? where you even grab that chance to wish upon anything even to that dead star in hopes for the betterment of things? of course the next thing to do is to start moving on and finding ways to  make that pain go away. When you've wielded things to be they are only to regret in the end, only to regret that effort  you've done to interfere with things just so you wouldn't be in agony anymore and your left wishing how you should have instead let faith get its' way, would you have yourself blame your personal feelings for that? would you feel so betrayed by your own self? or would you employ the fact that sometimes a person has to do what she has to do to survive? so which one is it? would you rather blame feelings and fuck reasons?